maybe it's the dead of winter

ok. breathe in. breathe out.

post snow day peace and quiet and the ever looming list of things. to. be. done.
the freedom/burden of having all this time to contemplate this life. This mess.
speaking of freedom, I wonder sometimes if it wouldn't be better to live in blissful ignorance. Never to be burdened by the questions of God and death and finding your place and using your time on this planet to do something usefull, to be more than a cog.
But then as the wise people say."with the big questions it is enough to have asked" (they say this then laugh themselves silly).
I find myself these days trying to drown out the voices nagging at me to sit down and think about these questions for fear that the process will drag my ass down into the dirt where I will not be able to pick myself up. So I dull myself out with the stimuli of music, of tv, of busy-ness.
The schools were closed here yesterday so we went tobaganning and I saw an American-well I guess it was a Canadian-Bald Eagle soar past us, flying low through the snow. It was a miracle! I called out to the kids on the hill but they didn't hear, didn't care, just a bird. I felt priveleged to see it so closely. Then I went back to my winter duties.