Do you think it would be too much like art imitating life if R and I dressed up as a dead married couple for Hallowe'en? He could have a noose around his neck and I could be all bloody from having my heart ripped out.
Maybe I should just stick with my witch costume.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I bought a new tree
Over the summer one of our backyard trees got hit by lightning. The bolt blasted the bark off of half the trunk, scattering it everywhere in huge fragments. The tree should have died by now but it hasn't. It still might. I worry with every windy day that it will fall over onto my roof. She is a big tree, an old white ash and a few of her sisters are close by, not as grand, not presiding over the yard as this one does. The tree is technically on city property so it is their job to remove it as they wish. There is a work order in place. A small crew even showed up a couple of weeks ago, but since the tree was not marked (a decision made by the arborist who thought the job was so urgent he wouldn't bother marking it) they walked away, confused and not wanting to take down the wrong tree. I haven't seen them since, but I know they will return.
The thing is, I don't want them to. My breath caught when I saw them pull up that time, certain that it was time for the tree to go. I didn't want it to go. I wanted to take my chances with the elements, give it (me?) a bit more time. I hid inside behind the curtains so they wouldn't get the idea to knock on the door asking if indeed this was the tree. I called my friend to commiserate and prepare for the sound of chainsaws. But they left and she received her stay of execution.
I want to be there when she does come down. I need to tell the crew-please be careful, there are many animals and birds living in that tree. My daughter's swing is being held sturdily by that lowest branch (still too high to reach with a ladder, R had to climb the ladder, then climb the tree to hang the rope). I watch her branches blow in the breeze from the skylight above my bed and I know what kind of day it will be. I know spring from fall, sun from snow courtesy of her leaves. I do my yoga facing that tree, a modern nod to an ancient form of prayer.
I bought a new tree yesterday. A beautiful weeping birch, tall and sturdy with beautiful tan bark-like a buckskin coloured horse. She will go at the other end of the yard-a perfect bookend to the cedars in the other corner. She will grow in the sunlight that will flood in when my big white ash is gone. I will plant it tomorrow when the rain is gone.
The thing is, I don't want them to. My breath caught when I saw them pull up that time, certain that it was time for the tree to go. I didn't want it to go. I wanted to take my chances with the elements, give it (me?) a bit more time. I hid inside behind the curtains so they wouldn't get the idea to knock on the door asking if indeed this was the tree. I called my friend to commiserate and prepare for the sound of chainsaws. But they left and she received her stay of execution.
I want to be there when she does come down. I need to tell the crew-please be careful, there are many animals and birds living in that tree. My daughter's swing is being held sturdily by that lowest branch (still too high to reach with a ladder, R had to climb the ladder, then climb the tree to hang the rope). I watch her branches blow in the breeze from the skylight above my bed and I know what kind of day it will be. I know spring from fall, sun from snow courtesy of her leaves. I do my yoga facing that tree, a modern nod to an ancient form of prayer.
I bought a new tree yesterday. A beautiful weeping birch, tall and sturdy with beautiful tan bark-like a buckskin coloured horse. She will go at the other end of the yard-a perfect bookend to the cedars in the other corner. She will grow in the sunlight that will flood in when my big white ash is gone. I will plant it tomorrow when the rain is gone.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
turkey hangover
I have all kinds of dreams about being chased. I am being chased by the bad guys (monsters, aliens, robbers) and I have to hide or escape from the building or city. Sometimes I have to fight them. Ususally the dream involves a labyrinth of corridors and streets and secret rooms. There are plenty of near-misses and sometimes I get the occasional do-over. Sometimes I have to resuce my kids or protect them or help them escape. I am not always alone, but I rarely recognize anyone from my waking life in these dreams.
The other night I spent the whole night dreaming that it was ARMAGEDDON; meaning that we were driving through a city and it started to rain, then it started to flood and then this crazy electrical storm started with these high voltage bolts of lightning coming down all over the place like laser beams. Of course, because there was a flood, the entire ground was unsafe. At one point we were hiding behind a giant transformer (not the best place..) and the beam of lightning changed into an alien who looked like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family. The beam was coming dangerously close to the transformer but retracted into the sky without incident. At another point we rescued a bunch of kittens but they were later blasted by a giant power surge that hit the ground like a shock wave. A lion was on the loose in the downtown core and I took advantage of a stranger's haplessness to escape the raging beast (he got eaten). I think Gerard Butler was with me at this point. Or Clive Owen-they look alot alike. It was night and still raining.
I woke up tired from all the action. I was wondering if it was all the turkey chemicals I ate that made my head all messed up. Maybe I should write a comic book.
The other night I spent the whole night dreaming that it was ARMAGEDDON; meaning that we were driving through a city and it started to rain, then it started to flood and then this crazy electrical storm started with these high voltage bolts of lightning coming down all over the place like laser beams. Of course, because there was a flood, the entire ground was unsafe. At one point we were hiding behind a giant transformer (not the best place..) and the beam of lightning changed into an alien who looked like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family. The beam was coming dangerously close to the transformer but retracted into the sky without incident. At another point we rescued a bunch of kittens but they were later blasted by a giant power surge that hit the ground like a shock wave. A lion was on the loose in the downtown core and I took advantage of a stranger's haplessness to escape the raging beast (he got eaten). I think Gerard Butler was with me at this point. Or Clive Owen-they look alot alike. It was night and still raining.
I woke up tired from all the action. I was wondering if it was all the turkey chemicals I ate that made my head all messed up. Maybe I should write a comic book.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
secret life
My favourite secret tv show is Video on Trial. Why is that show so funny?
My favourite secret food to eat is crackers with butter on them. Zero nutritional value.
My favourite secret crush. I would say Boris from Video on Trial but he's gay so I have to say that I secretly love Ashton Kucher. He's so dumb but oh so yummy.
My favourite secret music is Rick Springfield. What can I say-I've loved him for over 20 years.
My favourite secret movie is Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Musicals rock.
My favourite secret nickname is Peanut. I used to be little.
My favourite secret desire is to be a biker. I won't show you my tits though.
My favourite secret food to eat is crackers with butter on them. Zero nutritional value.
My favourite secret crush. I would say Boris from Video on Trial but he's gay so I have to say that I secretly love Ashton Kucher. He's so dumb but oh so yummy.
My favourite secret music is Rick Springfield. What can I say-I've loved him for over 20 years.
My favourite secret movie is Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Musicals rock.
My favourite secret nickname is Peanut. I used to be little.
My favourite secret desire is to be a biker. I won't show you my tits though.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Maybe it's time
Why does winter get me down??? Here we are only the first day of October and already I am feeling the brace for the cold. I'm walking around my house cold on the inside, my hands are cold. I do not want to turn on the furnace as a matter of principle but I am cold!! My garden is turning brown in the back, the fence is up-maybe it's the fence. I feel closed in all of a sudden. why does that remind me of winter? I am going through my twice yearly ritual of changing the clothes (there's not enough closet space for all seasons) and perhaps it's making me a bit trepidacious about the coming cold. The same old clothes. I hate them all it seems. Maybe it's time to go shopping., but I am a bad shopper, buying only what's cheap, not what I'll like next year, not what will be in good shape next year. I've been sick for a few hours and well for a few hours, maybe that's it-I'm in sick mode still. Maybe it's it's time to go for a run and get into health mode. I really want to get a job, but I do not know where or how to look, I do not know what I want to do or what I am able to do. I do not have a short term plan. Maybe it's time to get one going.
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