I want

Valentine's Day is such a crock of shit, but I still want some love, some lovin, some jewellery that I don't need or even chocolate as long as it's the best. Being poor, one has to tune out the want of "that which one does not need" which in this culture of want=need is extremely challenging. I find myself always weighing the degree of want vs. the requirement of need and quite frankly, it sucks. And I have to put myself last in line after the kids, after R-who after all is out there slogging through the icy streets for my bacon, and after the needs of the family as a whole. A lot of the time I don't mind, I don't really need/want a lot, but at Valentine's day, I want. I want a massage and a pedicure and a manicure and dinner cooked for me at a good restaurant that serves a mean steak and champagne and a sexy red dress with good shoes and maybe a movie and a really nice necklace and a babysitter and choclate cake. And I don't want to calculate the cost of an appetizer vs another glass of wine, or the cab fare. Just once in awhile, I want.