I know this name sucks but I can't think of a different one. The only thing that comes to mind is Permanently Pissed Off and that's just not very friendly.
I'm not really permanently pissed off but I do have several moments throughout the day and night when the thought comes into my head that there are a lot of assholes in the world, and that pisses me off-even if they have nothing to do with me. It only really bothers me when they get into my trajectory. R makes fun of me when I am being "tough" but he really doesn't know that I am just scratching the surface. If I was a comedian, I'd be the Dennis Leary sort, except with more swearing.
For many years I really wanted to be the kind of person who called themselves something sweet and feminine like Morningstar Butterfly.. (retching)..but when I finally realized that that was not my particular brand of personality I relaxed into my edginess, embraced it in a way. Still, hope springs eternal, even for me, and everyday is an active exercise in positivity and loving acceptance-words and concepts that are the hot topics right now in our culture as if that is all it's gonna take to make things better. I guess it can't hurt which is why I am slowly but surely becoming a happy morningstar butterfly type of gal. If only those happy people didn't piss me off so much .
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1 comment:
cynics unite!
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