Tuesday, September 16, 2008
who to communicate with
With a few precious hours of free time on my hands thanks to the miracle of kindergarten, I sat down in my favourite cafe with a coffee and a notepad and proceeded to whip off about 10 pages of my life in about half an hour. I love that creativity flows through heartache although I wish it would flow easier through joy. I ended up walking about 8 kms yesterday, back home and was able to think things through a bit. He's been very nice to me lately so I am sure he's feeling pretty guilty about the whole situation. Maybe he thinks it's business as usual, I don't know. Anyone with small children knows just how difficult it is to actually conduct a relationship that involves adult conversation-add to that a man who is passed out by 10:00 pm and there seems to be a lot of days and nights that go by without ever having even the beginnings of a meaningful exchange. I find that excrutiating -the loneliness of being only casual with someone and longing to connect with them, to talk to them and feel them close to you spiritually and emotionally. Instead you get information about the day, about the next day, about the next day after that, about the weather.
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3 comments:
You said a mouth full.
I seem to have the same husband (although, mine's a woman) and yet I am the same husband in a way.
We find that movie night does wonders for re-bonding--movie night at home that is. She still falls asleep early, but at least it's with me.
Oh sweetie, I get that, the loneliness. Isn't there a song like that? One can be as lonely as two, it's the loneliest number since the number one.
Me too.
yeah, i hear you. we get that. that boring "talk of the day" stuff. to go past that requires drinks, many drinks.
somehow it doesn't upset me though. i dunno why.
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