I feel like I am constantly complaining about my man and his shortcomings on this blog. So I want to clarify a few things. He is not a bad man, in fact he is a very good man. He cares deeply about the world and cannot stand injustice or suffering. He has a very sensitive soul and is very sentimental, the man who cried when our bunny (whom he hated) died. His faith in God is unwavering. He is extremely funny and smart. He is handsome. He is a very loving, fun and sweet daddy who just melts at the mere sight of his little girl. He can be (and often is) very generous and tender. He is faithful and honest.
So why do I complain? Because in spite of his perfection, he is frustrated and depressed. He is seldom able to be proactive with these feelings and as a result he is angry, anger that is often directed at me. I am afraid that he will never be able to rise above his shortcomings to create the joy and satisfaction that he craves from life and that I will always be the one to blame. I am afraid of his bitterness, and of my own. I want him to soar but am afraid he cannot. My faith is just not that strong anymore.
I heard not too long ago that the thing men want most from their wives is to be adored-just as I am sure what women want from their men. It all stems it seems from this need to be adored by at least one person. I do adore him, but I also despise him-A feeling I am sure is echoed by anyone who has spent more than a few years with someone.
1 comment:
i'm glad you wrote this because this is how i feel about him also.
yes it's very easy to not like someone who's not liking their own self. it's an energy thing...you send out bitterness, you reap bitterness. you can only take so much. adoration is so easily squelched by a snarky comment in passing or that type of thing.
after awhile it's like: just DO something about it already!!!
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