alive!

Could that possibly be Spring trying to fight it's way out from behind winter's hairy back? Why is it that even just the promise of spring coming is often enough to perk up one's dreary mood? Even I, the queen of rainy days, feel more optimistic when the weather is nice. I am determined today to do something somewhat productive with my day-something that takes me further into my life, into a better life. Today cannot be just about the day-to-day chores of keeping it all running smoothly. Today must be a day of jogging and yoga and eating well and then...what? I don't even have a clue what I should be doing to move into that better place. Somehow just sitting and enjoying the warm sun on my face-although highly desirable-isn't going to satisfy that craving for something Bigger. Something that will bring me a nice happy sleep tonight, a hopeful sleep.

Last night we finally got around to watching The Diving Bell and the Butterfly which is a lovely and sad and sensous film that ought to leave everyone who watches it with a renewed sense of joy for life and all of its pleasures. It made me want to feast and fuck and run and touch everything and feel the warmth of my children and man's perfect bodies and luxuriate in the earth. Today must surely be feast day!