trying to deal with it

I'm stealing a bit of a day for myself. Mostly what I am trying to do is think loving thoughts about people, especially a certain person who seems hell bent on bringing anger and negativity into my life. I am tired of being accused of stuff by passive-aggressive people who cannot bear to take responsibility for their own shit and who just behave as if they are the only people in the world with stuff to do. It's a drag and it makes me want run run run away from them.
I have been thinking lately that perhaps the reason this person came into my life was to teach me how to deal with anger-not my own-but with other people's. My father was an "angry man" with a terrifying temper and I was petrified of his rages as a child. As a teen I showed bravado, I guess a certain bravery, but I was still quaking in my boots whenever I argued with my dad. The odd thing with my dad was we usually argued politics and sometimes it would get so intense it would come to shove. But I would never back down, even if I thought I was about to get knocked ass over head. Now, I am learning to back down with this person in my life, learning to choose my battles, learning to bite my tongue and look the other way. But I don't know if that is dealing with it. I guess what I mean is that I am trying to learn how to express my own anger, feel someone else's anger and not get up the next day feeling as though my soul has been sucked out of my body.
Today I am filled with a deep sense of remorse over feeling that this someone has too many difficulties in communicating with me to create a positve experience and knowing that this person's capacity to change is limited by his refusal to see his life as a series of choices he makes leaves me feeling somewhat hopeless about the future of my friendship with him.