I am trying to get into the spirit of Christmas. I really want to feel that joy and anticipation of what's to come. I water the tree and wrap gifts and listen to music and it feels like one big do-to list. I've simplified and organized my life so I am not stressed out about shopping and getting it all done but it feels hollow. I do not think I am doing a good job of making the holiday as magical as it was for me when I was a kid. My dad loved loved loved Christmas. Buying gifts and getting everything done was his way of showing his love and he did everything BIG-especially Christmas. I am sure my mother just thought it was one big chore-all that cooking and cleaning and wound up bratty children. His enthusiasm was infectuous. I am trying to muster the same enthusiasm and spirit, but not today. Today I am a bit depressed. I feel like I am in a boat all alone sailing somewhere I don't want to go but i cannot change my course.
I need some snow. I need a miseltoe and someone to kiss me underneath it. I need gingerbread.
I need Santa and his bag of miracles.
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1 comment:
how about a big hug instead?
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