I don't even know what I'm doing, I'm just trying to duck so I don't get covered in shit.
It's not my drama, my drama is almost always just my own and not up for public consumption.
But it's hard not to get too smug, too critical-jesus how can you live like that? How can you do that?
What about the children????
One thing I know for sure and the older I get the more I know it. People will do whatever the hell they want and create a justification for it anyhow. They will always be doing what's right. They will always be the good guy. They will twist logic to suit their own messed up needs.
I am no different, no doubt.
I will always be the good guy, the one who is doing right. I will be the one with the justification-even now as an observer, I already am. I am clean,
We've joked that the plantets or something is causing some sort of major upset in the universe right now. But maybe it's just the universe balancing itself out after being out of whack for so long. Maybe that's why. Maybe all this craziness of inter-personal relationships is actually a re-balancing.
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You know, more than one person has said to me upon telling them my news, THANK FUCKING GOD. They are happy for me, excited for my future. Ecstatic for what I won't have to deal with anymore. On a good day, I feel all that too.
On a good day I also don't hate him. I see him for the broken person he is and probably always will be, and I feel a combination of sorrow and indifference for him.
And yeah, very few people will actually own up to their shit for what it is. They'll justify and rationalize so that they can sleep at night and look at themselves in the morning. I find this really sad.
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